33 weeks.

I apologise in advance.. I'm feeling sorry for my tired, sore, pregnant self... I kind of skipped over the 2nd trimester, from week 20 to 33... here's what I can remember:

- The last time I threw up - week 23.
- Started to feel baby move from about week 21 - she moves a lot and rarely ceases.
- Then from about week 23 to 27 I felt great! My bump popped out, I was back in the gym and enjoying food again. I felt almost normal, just a little uncomfortable sleeping during the night.
- Week 28 onwards - awful. Absolutely awful. Was on par with the first trimester but now I think it's worse. A growing baby, an expanding uterus = a displaced rib = exceedingly excrutiating, intensely painful rib & back pain. Like there is a sharp knife stuck between my ribs, through the front, sticking out the back a little right of centre. Irritated & inflamed cartlidge and spasmed, tight muscles. Exacerbated by sitting, which means at work I feel like I am dying. Sitting for 8 hours is torture, unbearably distressing, extremely agonizing! and it is like this EVERY day and night. You get the idea...  and the only time it feels less severe is first thing in the morning when I wake up.. and I don't want to move or get up because I know what lies ahead of me if I do...

Then there are my other lovely third trimester friends.. that never leave me.
- lack of appetite - I get full on one piece of toast.
- squashed stomach - hence the lack of appetite - no room.
- stomach pains - just unexplained, random cramps and pains that have me crippled over and on the floor at work.
- constipation - doing a poo now is an occasion to jump up and down and celebrate and tell someone about it.
- acid reflux - gross. i hate it. makes me not want to eat anything.
- nausea - annoying, hovering over the bathroom sink at work waiting to throw up
- indigestion - another reason to not eat.
- fatigue
- faint/dizziness
- hot flashes - overheating at work whilst everyone else is wearing cardigans and the heater is on.
- leg cramps almost nightly & constantly waking up and trying to get comfortable with the weight of my stomach

:( I want my body back. My normal, not pregnant, not sick and sore body back. I can't wait for this to be over... for baby to be on the outside of me.

In addition to all the various ailments and physical pains... there have been a few moments where I have felt scared. Nervous, worried, frightened about being a new mum. My own personal life being over, in a way. Forever being responsible for another individual... losing myself in the care of an infant, child, more children... Not being able to do things I wanted to do. The impact it'll have on my marriage, finances, sleep. etc.... it is daunting.

But then I think... I've always wanted this. I've wanted to be a mum more than I've ever wanted to be anything else. I absolutely love babies. I was made for this and I am going to be great at it. :) It will be more joyful then I ever could comprehend. I can't wait!

Hopefully the next 7 weeks go quickly and smoothly... that I don't overdo it, and perhaps finish working a little earlier than planned so I can rest.. my body needs it. It is my main hope and prayer that my baby is healthy & strong and makes it safely into the world so we can snuggle and stare at her :)

Peace...

This week I have started working 'casual', which means I have Tuesday's & Thursday's off, for which I am truly grateful. Grateful that Marshall was able to obtain work about a month or two ago now and this has allowed me to take time off as my due date draws near. Today is the first day since I can't remember.. that I can completely relax. I don't have to go anywhere or do anything. I feel peaceful, restful. The complete opposite of what I have been feeling for months now. I don't feel stressed or obligated or exhausted. My back and ribs still hurt but I can manage it better at home. I slept in til 9am and it was wonderful :) I made myself an egg on toast. I listened to a hymn. I've been sitting, staring out my bedroom window for some time this morning.. it is cool and windy and the sun shines through the clouds every now and then... a sun shower... trees rustling in the wind.. the scent of jasmine coming in through the window... then another ray of sunshine.... it's so beautiful and peaceful. 

 

I like this quote and I know that I truly can feel peace and calmness in my heart amidst noise and trouble. It's harder but it's possible and I believe this is achievable by following the Saviour and relying on him. Allowing him to share our burdens and make them light. The Saviour tells us to "be of good cheer" and, in John 14:27 - "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." - How beautiful are those words...

It's raining now.. it sounds lovely and it smells good too. I love nature. All the trees and other plants will be so green and fresh and happy :) I like looking at pictures of things that make me feel peaceful... here are a few, along with a hymn that my husband chose for us to sing at Family Home Evening last night - I think it would make a nice lullaby to sing to baby. This time to rest is really good for me and baby, I can tell :)

55 days to go...

I guess I'm a little bit excited now that I only have approximately 7 weeks to go :) Is it too early to start washing baby clothes? I couldn't help myself, they are SO cute! I organised them into sizes last night and washed them this morning.. they smell SO good! I used lux soap flakes and this yummy smelling softener. They smell so sweet :) Here are some shots of the newborn sized clothing... *sigh* :)

Nesting... 66 days to go!

This was me at 5.30am this morning, plus a huge baby bump. Okay, I didn't do any sewing or ironing, but I did sweep & vacuum & mop & wash & hang & tidy.

I have officially hit my "nesting" stage. Though it doesn't kick in after hours... when I get home from work all I want to do is rest. I thought I could work full time right through to 36 weeks. HA! That was a looney thought! I'm approaching 31 weeks and it has become very tough to take myself to work each day. The 45min bus rides to and from are making me sick again, my back and ribs KILL me all day long and I'm just plain old tired. I would be much more productive and feel a whole lot better at home, so starting the 23rd of August (week 32) I will be taking Tuesday's & Thursday's off. Yay! That will be nice.. I can't wait.

A very kind dear person allowed me to borrow her bassinet that will fit nicely in our room until we move somewhere else.. the cot is currently in the garage. I am looking forward to washing baby clothes and putting in drawers all neatly folded. I'm kinda sad that she won't have her own room yet and our room is so crowded with furniture but I know all that won't matter once she arrives. We still need to get a capsule and install it in the car, have yet to buy a pram or baby carrier, oh and I still need a nappy bag. I will pack a bag for the hospital in the next couple of weeks too. Marshall and I are going to meet with my midwife next week to chat about ... labour. eeek.

I'm very much looking forward to our last getaway together before baby arrives. We're headed up the Sunshine Coast to stay at a resort on Golden Beach :) Sounds lovely huh? ... king bed, double spa bath, buffet breakfast each morning.. can't wait! and 2 nights! Marshall and I have never been away together for longer than 1 night. This will be a treat :) and we may even go to Australia Zoo!

http://www.etsy.com/people/tahliahoozer/favorites?type=shops&page=1

30 weeks pregnant...

I would like for this to be true but unfortunately I get everything done! and I'm still working full time and rarely have time to just relax.. if I could start working part-time that would be very nice :) oh well on the upside, with all the running around I've been doing I've only put on 5 kilo's this whole pregnancy!

Can't wait to sit and relax when baby girl arrives... I know I'll be tired & feel like a dairy cow but at least I'll be able to sit and stare at my pretty baby :)

Cravings...

 I think I had my first real pregnancy related food cravings last night/this morning. The kind where if you don't get what you want you feel like you might die. Well, maybe not that extreme... but I almost cried when we drove to 2 different grocery stores last night and neither of them had watermelon! :(

I didn't eat anything for dinner because I knew it wouldn't satisfy my craving so I just brushed my teeth and went to bed.

The craving for watermelon hadn't ceased this morning when I woke, in fact in addition I was craving a vegemite sandwich on WHITE bread... which I usually consider evil.

and so my breakfast this morning consisted of a vegemite sandwich, a peanut butter & jam sandwich - on white bread from Brumby's and a quarter of a watermelon, and some chocolate soy milk.




I still think white bread is evil but it certainly was delicious. At least I'm not craving donuts and fast food...